Fire Drill

Instead of screaming fire in a crowded building just to get a laugh, how about setting fire to the same building and saying absolutely nothing...that will really get the crowd going.

Vonnegut Again

Here's another one for you all. It took me three seconds to pick out a meaningful Vonnegute quote amoung a slew of other meaningful Vonnegut quotes. Lesson: Kurt Vonnegut has a lot of meaningful things to say. Take heed.


"1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them."

Breakfast of Champions

Dear Paris...

Dear Paris Hilton,

You remind me of a dove
-a white dove
-a white dove on a branch
-a white dove on a branch of an oak tree
-a white dove on a branch of an oak tree in a park
-a white dove on a branch of an oak tree in a park on a friday evening
-a white dove on a branch of an oak tree in a park on a friday evening just before sunset
-a white dove on a branch of an oak tree in a park on a friday evening just before sunset surrouded by rose peddles
-a white dove on a branch of an oak tree in a park on a friday evening just before sunset surrouded by rose peddles and drugs, sex, drugs again, sex, Carson Daly, dog drugs, hard liquor, drugs, sex, silicon, The Black Eyed Peas, sex for the fourth time, The Pope, Puff Daddy, shaving cream, drugs, Rip Tide Gatorade, legal and illegal immigrants, sex, the grandma from Titanic, a horsejockey, sex, and the Milwaukee Brewers mascot.

Paris Hiton, I love you.

Love,
Your Father, Mr. Hilton

Breaking News....

Spinach E. Coli Outbreak: Popeye Hasn't Shit Right For A Week

Ish Dont Think So

During my most recent trip to Iowa City for the Iowa/Iowa State football game, I noticed the effect of social gonorrhea (something I made up). Social gonorrhea is a formidable epidemic sweeping through eastern Iowa and other parts of the nation. In its own right gonorrhea is a curable infection (STD -ouch) caused by bacteria, spread during sexual intercourse. In a social context, it is word-of-mouth infection spread by douche bag door guys, freshman girls, and the homeless. The following is an experience:

Prepubescent, youth-large black shirted door guy at Martinis Bar: “Hey Boss, It’s 10 bucks to get in, down from 20.”

I laughed and walked away.
______________________________________________________________________

Sometimes 2 seconds after walking away you come up with a different scenario for the conversation. Here’s what should have happened.

Prepubescent, youth-large black shirted door guy at Martinis Bar: “Hey Boss, It’s 10 bucks to get in, down from 20.”

Me: “Boss huh? Sorry EMPLOYEE but door sales are down; we are going to have to let you go.”

Boardshorts

It's depressing as hell to reach the age when you can no longer shop at Old Navy. I yearn, yearn I say, for the time in my life when I could wake up real early in the morning, stretch out, have a bowl of Fruit Loops or Corn Pops (Im versatile), kiss my mom, curse my sister, and drive on down to the local Old Nav and get a new fleece vest and or $12.99 denium cut blues jeans equipped with opposible velcro add-on plush pouches. I miss those days.


Note: Never say I wanted to go to Old Navy to buy a fleece vest in any working sentence to another human being.

Housing Contract

I have a landlord who thinks he can walk into my apartment any time he wants to. Im going to turn the tables on him by sleeping in his bed and having sex with his wife.

Red White and True

Am I mistaken or is the AMERICAN language ommitted from this list?One more reason you cant trust the Internets.

Abanyom (Bantu)
Abaza (Northwest Caucasian)
Abkhaz or Abkhazian (Northwest Caucasian)
Abujmaria (Dravidian)
Acehnese (Malayo-Polynesian)
Adamorobe Sign Language (Signing)
Adele (Kwa)
Adyghe (Northwest Caucasian)
Afar (Cushitic)
Afrikaans (Germanic)
Afro-Seminole Creole (English-based creole)
Aimaq or Barbari (Iranian)
Aini (Turkic)
Ainu (language isolate)
Akan (Kwa)
Akawaio (Carib)
Akkadian (Semitic) (extinct)
Aklanon (Malayo-Polynesian)
Albanian (Indo-European)
Aleut (Eskimo-Aleut)
Algonquin (Algonquian)
Alemán Coloneiro (Germanic)
Alsatian (Germanic)
Altay (Turkic)
Alutor (Chukotko-Kamchatkan)
American Sign Language (Signing)
Amharic (Semitic)
Amorite (Semitic) (extinct)
Anglo-Saxon or Old English (Germanic)
Amdang (Nilo-Saharan)
Ammonite (Semitic) (extinct)
Andalusian (Romance)
Angaur (Malayo-Polynesian)
Angika (Indo-Aryan)
Ao (Tibeto-Burman)
A-Pucikwar (Andamanese)
Arabic (Semitic)
Aragonese (Romance)
Aramaic (Semitic)
Are (Malayo-Polynesian)
Argobba (Semitic)
Aromanian or Macedo-Romanian (Romance)
Armenian (Indo-European)
Arpitan or Francoprovençal (Romance)
Arvanitic (Albanian dialect) (Indo-European)
Ashkenazi Hebrew (Semitic)
Ashkun (Indo-Iranian)
Assamese (Indo-Iranian)
Assyrian Neo-Aramaic (Semitic)
Ateso or Teso (Nilotic)
Asi (Malayo-Polynesian)
Asturian (Romance)
Auslan (Signing)
Avar (Northeast Caucasian)
Avestan (Indo-Iranian)
Awadhi (Indo-Iranian)
Aymara (Aymaran)
Azerbaijani (Turkic)
[edit]
B


Badaga (Dravidian)
Badeshi (Indo-Iranian)
Bahnar (Austroasiatic)
Bajelani (Indo-Iranian)
Balinese (Malayo-Polynesian)
Balochi (Indo-Iranian)
Balti (Tibeto-Burman)
Bambara or Bamanankan (Mande)
Banjar (Malayo-Polynesian)
Banyumasan (Malayo-Polynesian)
Basaa (Bantu)
Bashkir (Turkic)
Basque (Isolated)
Batak Dairi (Malayo-Polynesian)
Batak Karo (Malayo-Polynesian)
Batak Mandailing (Malayo-Polynesian)
Batak Simalungun (Malayo-Polynesian)
Batak Toba (Malayo-Polynesian)
Bats (North Caucasian)
Bavarian (Germanic)
Beja (Cushitic)
Belarusian (Slavic)
Belhare (Tibeto-Burman)
Bellari (Dravidian)
Berta (Nilo-Saharan)
Bemba (Bantu)
Bengali (Indo-Aryan)
Bezhta (Northeast Caucasian)
Beothuk (unclassified) (extinct)
Berber (Afro-Asiatic)
Bete (Niger-Congo)
Bété (Niger-Congo)
Bhili (Indo-Aryan)
Bhojpuri (Indo-Aryan)
Bijil Neo-Aramaic (Semitic)
Bikol (Malayo-Polynesian)
Bikya or Furu (Bantu)
Blackfoot (Algonquian)
Boholano (Malayo-Polynesian)
Bohtan Neo-Aramaic (Semitic)
Bolgar (unclassified) (extinct)
Bonan or Paoan (Mongolic)
Bororo (Bororoan)
Bosnian (Slavic)
Brahui (Dravidian)
Breton (Celtic)
British Sign Language (Signing)
Bua (Niger-Congo)
Buginese (Malayo-Polynesian)
Bukusu (Bantu)
Bulgarian (Slavic)
Bunjevac (Slavic)
Burmese (Tibeto-Burman)
Burushaski (language isolate)
Buryat (Mongolic)
[edit]
C


Caluyanon or Caluyanun (Malayo-Polynesian)
Camunic (unclassified) (extinct)
Cantonese (Sinitic)
Carian (Anatolian) (extinct)
Catawba (Siouan) (extinct)
Catalan (Romance)
Cayuga (Iroquoian)
Cebuano (Malayo-Polynesian)
Chabacano or Chavacano (Creole)
Chagatai (Turkic) (extinct)
Chaldean Neo-Aramaic (Semitic)
Chamorro (Malayo-Polynesian)
Chaouia or Tachawit (Berber)
Chechen (Northeast Caucasian)
Chemakum (Chimakuan) (extinct)
Chenchu (Dravidian)
Chenoua (Berber)
Cherokee (Iroquoian
Cheyenne (Algonquian)
Chhattisgarhi (Indo-Aryan)
Chhintang or Chintang (Tibeto-Burman)
Chilcotin (Athabaskan)
Chinese (Sinitic)
Chiricahua or Mescalero-Chiricahua Apache (Athabaskan)
Chichewa or Nyanja (Bantu)
Chipewyan (Athabaskan)
Chittagonian (Indo-Aryan)
Choctaw (Muskogean)
Chorasmian or Khwarezmian (Iranian)
Chukchi or Chukot (Chukotko-Kamchatkan)
Chulym (Turkic)
Church Slavonic (Slavic)
Chuukese or Trukese (Malayo-Polynesian)
Chuvash (Turkic)
Cocoma or Cocama (Tupian)
Cocopa (Hokan)
Coeur d’Alene (Salishan)
Comorian (Bantu)
Coptic (Egyptian) (extinct)
Cornish (Celtic)
Corsican (Romance)
Cree (Algonquian)
Crimean Tatar or Crimean Turkish (Turkic)
Croatian (Slavic)
Cuman (Turkic) (extinct)
Cumbric (Celtic) (extinct)
Curonian (Baltic) (extinct)
Cuyonon (Malayo-Polynesian)
Czech (Slavic)
[edit]
D

Dacian (Indo-European) (extinct)
Dahlik (Semitic)
Dalecarlian (Germanic)
Dalmatian (Romance) (extinct)
Dameli (Indo-Aryan)
Danish (Germanic)
Dargin (Northeast Caucasian)
Dari (Zoroastrian) (Iranian)
Dari-Persian (Iranian)
Darkhat (Mongolic)
Daur or Dagur (Mongolic)
Dena'ina or Tanaina (Athapaskan)
Dhatki (Indo-Aryan)
Dhivehi or Maldivian (Indo-Aryan)
Dida (Volta-Congo)
Dioula or Jula (Mande)
Dogri (Indo-Aryan)
Dogrib or Tli Cho (Athapaskan)
Dolgan (Turkic)
Domaaki or Dumaki (Indo-Aryan)
Dongxiang or Santa (Mongolic)
Duala (Bantu)
Dungan (Sinitic)
Dutch (Germanic)
Dzhidi or Judeo-Persian (Iranian)
Dzongkha (Tibeto-Burman)
[edit]
E
Z

Eastern Yugur (Mongolic)
Eblaite (Semitic) (extinct)
Edomite (Semitic) (extinct)
Egyptian (Afro-Asiatic) (extinct)
Egyptian Arabic (Semitic)
Ekoti (Bantu)
Elamite (isolated) (extinct)
Endegen (Semitic)
Enets or Yenisey Samoyed (Samoyedic)
English (Germanic)
Ennemor or Inor (Semitic)
Erzya (Finno-Ugric)
Esperanto (artificial)
Estonian (Finno-Ugric)
Etruscan (Tyrsenian) (extinct)
Even (Altaic)
Evenk or Evenki (Altaic)
Ewe (Volta-Congo)
Eyak (Na-Dené)
[edit]
F


Faeroese (Germanic)
Fang (Bantu)
Fars (Iranian)
Fijian (Malayo-Polynesian)
Filipino (Malayo-Polynesian)
Finnish (Finno-Ugric)
Finnish Sign Language (Signing)
Fon (Volta-Congo)
Franco-Provençal (Romance)
French (Romance)
French Sign Language (Signing)
Frisian (Germanic)
Friulian (Romance)
Fula or Fulfulde or Fulani (Atlantic)
Fur (Nilo-Saharan)
[edit]
G

Ga (Volta-Congo)
Gadaba (Dravidian)
Gafat (Semitic) (extinct)
Gagauz (Turkic)
Galician (Romance)
Gangte (Tibeto-Burman)
Garhwali (Indo-Aryan)
Gaulish (Celtic) (extinct)
Gayo (Malayo-Polynesian)
Gazi (Iranian)
Ge'ez (Semitic) (extinct)
Gen or Gẽ or Mina (Volta-Congo)
Georgian (South Caucasian)
German (Germanic)
German Sign Language (Signing)
Ghomara (Berber) (extinct)
Gikuyu or Kikuyu (Bantu)
Gilbertese or Kiribati (Malayo-Polynesian)
Gileki (Iranian)
Goaria (Indo-Aryan)
Gondi (Dravidian)
Gothic (Germanic) (extinct)
Gawar-Bati or Gowari or Narsati (Indo-Aryan)
Grangali or Gelangali (Indo-Aryan)
Greek (Indo-European)
Guanche (Berber) (extinct)
Guaraní (Tupian)
Gujarati (Indo-Aryan)
Gula Iro or Kulaal (Volta-Congo)
Gullah or Sea Island Creole English (English-based creole)
Gusii (Bantu)
Gwichʼin (Athabaskan)
[edit]
H
Z

Hadramautic (Semitic) (extinct)
Hadza or Hatsa (Khoisan)
Haida or Masset (Na-Dené)
Haitian Creole (French Creole)
Hakka (Sinitic)
Hän (Athabaskan)
Harari (Semitic)
Harauti (Indo-Aryan)
Harsusi (Semitic)
Haryanavi or Haryani or Bangru (Indo-Aryan) (a dialect of Hindi)
Harzani (Iranian)
Hattic (unclassified, possibly Northwest Caucasian) (extinct)
Hausa (Afro-Asiatic)
Havasupai or Upland Yuman (Hokan)
Hawaiian (Malayo-Polynesian)
Hawaii Pidgin Sign Language (Signing)
Hazaragi (Iranian) (a dialect of Persian)
Hebrew (Semitic)
Herero (Bantu)
Hértevin (Semitic)
Hiligaynon or Ilonggo (Malayo-Polynesian)
Hindi (Indo-Aryan)
Hiri Motu (Motu-based Pidgin)
Hittite (Anatolian)
Hixkaryana (Carib)
Hmong (Hmong Mien)
Ho (Austroasiatic)
Hobyót (Semitic)
Hopi (Uto-Aztecan
Hulaulá (Semitic)
Hungarian (Finno-Ugric)
Hurrian (Hurro-Urartian) (extinct)
Hutterite German (Germanic)
[edit]
I

Ibibio (Volta-Congo)
Iban (Malayo-Polynesian)
Ibanag (Malayo-Polynesian)
Icelandic (Germanic)
Igbo or Ibo or Biafra (Volta-Congo)
Ikalanga or Kalanga (Bantu)
Ili Turki (Turkic)
Illinois (Algonquian) (extinct)
Ilokano or Ilocano (Malayo-Polynesian)
Inari Sami (Finno-Ugric)
Indonesian (Malayo-Polynesian)
Ingrian or Izhorian (Finno-Ugric)
Ingush (Northeast Caucasian)
Inuktitut (Eskimo-Aleut)
Inupiaq (Eskimo-Aleut)
Inuvialuktun (Eskimo-Aleut)
Iraqw (Cushitic)
Irish or Irish Gaelic (Celtic)
Irish Sign Language (Signing)
Irula (Dravidian)
Isan or Northeastern Thai (Tai-Kadai)
Istro-Romanian (Romance)
Italian (Romance)
Itelmen or Kamchadal (Chukotko-Kamchatkan)
[edit]
J


Jacaltec or Jakalteko (Mayan)
Jalaa (unclassified, possibly Niger-Congo)
Japanese (isolated)
Jaqaru (Aymaran)
Jarai (Malayo-Polynesian)
Javanese (Malayo-Polynesian)
Jibbali or Shehri (Semitic)
Jicarilla Apache (Athabaskan)
Juang (Austro-Asiatic)
Judeo-Aramaic (Semitic) (extinct)
Jurchen (Tungusic) (extinct)
[edit]
K
Kabardian (Northwest Caucasian)
Kabyle (Berber)
Kachin or Jingpo (Tibeto-Burman)
Kalaallisut or Greenlandic (Eskimo-Aleut)
Kalami or Gawri or Dirwali (Indo-Aryan)
Kalasha (Indo-Aryan)
Kalmyk or Oirat (Mongolic)
Kalto or Nahali (isolated or Indo-Aryan)
Kamas (Samoyedic) (extinct)
Kankanai or Kankanaey (Malayo-Polynesian)
Kannada (Dravidian)
Kaonde or Chikaonde (Bantu)
Kapampangan (Malayo-Polynesian)
Karachay-Balkar (Turkic)
Karagas (Turkic)
Karaim (Turkic)
Karakalpak (Turkic)
Karelian (Finno-Ugric)
Kashmiri (Indo-Aryan)
Kashubian (Slavic)
Kawi (Malayo-Polynesian) (extinct)
Kazakh (Turkic)
Kemi Sami (Finno-Ugric) (extinct)
Kensiu (Austro-Asiatic)
Kerek (Paleosiberian)
Ket (Chukotko-Kamchatkan)
Khakas (Turkic)
Khalaj (Iranian)
Kham or Sheshi (Tibeto-Burman)
Khandeshi (Indo-Aryan)
Khanty or Ostyak (Finno-Ugric)
Khasi (Austro-Asiatic)
Khazar (probably Turkic) (extinct)
Khirwar (Dravidian)
Khmer (Austro-Asiatic)
Khmu (Austro-Asiatic)
Khowar (Indo-Aryan)
Khunsari (Iranian)
Kichagga (Bantu)
Kildin Sami (Baltic-Finnic)
Kimatuumbi (Bantu)
Kinaray-a or Hiraya (Malayo-Polynesian)
Kinyarwanda (Bantu)
Kirombo (Bantu)
Kirundi (Bantu)
Kivunjo (Bantu)
Klallam or Clallam (Salishan)
Kodava Takk or Kodagu or Coorgi (Dravidian)
Kohistani or Khili (Indo-Aryan)
Kolami (Dravidian)
Komi or Komi-Zyrian (Finno-Ugric)
Konda (Trans-New Guinea)
Konkani (Indo-Aryan)
Kongo or Kikongo (Bantu)
Koraga (Dravidian)
Korandje (Nilo-Saharan)
Korean (isolated)
Korku (Austro-Asiatic)
Korowai (Trans-New Guinea)
Korwa (Austro-Asiatic)
Koryak (Chukotko-Kamchatkan)
Kosraean (Malayo-Polynesian)
Kota (Dravidian)
Koyra Chiini or Western Songhay (Nilo-Saharan)
Koy Sanjaq Surat (Semitic)
Koya (Dravidian)
Krymchak or Judeo-Crimean Tatar (Turkic)
Kujarge (unclassified, perhaps Chadic)
Kui (Dravidian)
Kumauni (Indo-Aryan)
Kumyk (Turkic)
Kumzari (Iranian)
ǃKung (Khoisan)
Kurdish (Iranian)
Kurukh or Kurux (Dravidian)
Kurumba (Dravidian)
Kusunda (Tibeto-Burman) (extinct)
Kutenai or Kootenay or Ktunaxa (isolated)
Kuvi (Dravidian)
Kwanyama or Ovambo (Bantu)
Kxoe (Khoisan)
Kyrgyz or Kirghiz (Turkic)
[edit]
L


Laal (unclassified)
Ladakhi (Tibeto-Burman)
Ladin (Romance)
Ladino or Judeo-Spanish (Romance)
Lakota or Lakhota or Teton (Siouan)
Lambadi or Lamani or Banjari (Indo-Aryan)
Lao or Laotian (Tai-Kadai)
Latin (Romance) (extinct)
Latvian (Baltic)
Laz or Lazuri (South Caucasian)
Lenape or Unami or Delaware (Algonquian) (extinct)
Lepontic (Celtic) (extinct)
Lezgi or Agul (Northeast Caucasian)
Ligbi or Ligby (Mande)
Lingala (Bantu)
Lipan Apache (Athabascan)
Lisan al-Dawat (Indo-Aryan)
Lishana Deni (Semitic)
Lishanid Noshan or Lishana Didan (Semitic)
Lithuanian (Baltic)
Livonian or Liv (Finno-Ugric)
Lotha (Tibeto-Burman)
Low German or Low Saxon or Plattdeutsch (Germanic)
Lower Sorbian (Slavic)
Lozi or Silozi (Bantu)
Ludic or Ludian (Finno-Ugric)
Luganda (Bantu)
Lunda or Chilunda (Bantu)
Luri (Iranian)
Lushootseed (Salishan)
Lusoga or Soga (Bantu)
Luvale (Bantu)
Luwati (Indo-Iranian)
Luwian or Luvian (Anatolian) (extinct)
Luxembourgish (Germanic)
Lycian (Anatolian) (extinct)
Lydian (Anatolian) (extinct)
[edit]
M


Macedonian (Slavic)
Macedonian, Ancient (Proto-Greek) (extinct)
Magadhi (Indo-Aryan)
Maguindanao (Malayo-Polynesian)
Mahican (Algonquian) (extinct)
Mahl (Indo-Aryan)
Maithili (Indo-Aryan)
Makasar (Malayo-Polynesian)
Makhuwa-Meetto (Bantu)
Makua (Bantu)
Malagasy (Malayo-Polynesian)
Malay (Malayo-Polynesian)
Malayalam (Dravidian)
Malaysian Sign Language (Signing)
Maltese (Semitic)
Malto or Sauria Paharia (Dravidian)
Malvi or Malavi or Ujjaini (Indo-Aryan)
Mam (Mayan)
Manchurian (Tungusic)
Manda (Dravidian)
Mandaic (Semitic)
Mandarin (Sinitic)
Mandinka (Niger-Congo)
Mansi or Vogul (Finno-Ugric)
Manx (Celtic) (extinct)
Manyika (Bantu)
Maori (Malayo-Polynesian)
Mapudungun or Mapuche (isolated)
Maragoli (Bantu)
Maranao (Malayo-Polynesian)
Marathi (Indo-Aryan)
Mari or Cheremis (Finno-Ugric)
Maria (Dravidian)
Marquesan (Malayo-Polynesian)
Marshallese or Ebon (Malayo-Polynesian)
Martha's Vineyard Sign Language (Signing)
Masaba (Bantu)
Masbatenyo or Minasbate (Malayo-Polynesian
Meitei or Manipuri or Meithei (Tibeto-Burman)
Mesqan or Masqan (Semitic)
Mator (Samoyedic) (extinct)
Mauritian Creole or Morisyen (French based Creole)
Maya (Mayan)
Mazandarani or Tabari(Iranian)
Meänkieli or Tornedalen Finnish (Finno-Ugric)
Megleno-Romanian (Romance)
Megrelian or Mingrelian (South Caucasian)
Mehri or Mahri (Semitic)
Menominee (Algonquian)
Mentawai (Malayo-Polynesian)
Meroitic (unclassified, maybe Nilo-Saharan or isolated)
Merya (Finno-Ugric) (extinct)
Mescalero Apache (Athabaskan)
Mesmes (Semitic) (extinct)
Messapian (Indo-European (extinct)
Miami (Algonquian) (extinct)
Michif (mixed, French and Cree based)
Middle Dutch (Germanic) (extinct)
Middle English (Germanic) (extinct)
Middle French (Romance) (extinct)
Middle High German (Germanic) (extinct)
Middle Persian or Pahlavi (Iranian) (extinct)
Mikasuki or Miccosukee (Muskogean)
Mi'kmaq or Micmac (Algonquian)
Minaean (Semitic) (extinct)
Minangkabau (Malayo-Polynesian)
Mlahsö or Suryoyo (Semitic) (extinct)
Moabite (Semitic) (extinct)
Mobilian Jargon (pidgin, Choctaw and French based)
Moghol (Mongolic)
Mohawk (Iroquoian)
Mohegan (Algonquian) (extinct)
Moksha (Finno-Ugric)
Molengue (Bantu)
Mon (Austro-Asiatic)
Mongolian (Mongolic)
Mono (Volta-Congo)
Mono (Uto-Aztecan)
Mono (Malayo-Polynesian)
Montagnais (Algonquian)
Montenegrin (Slavic)
Motu (Malayo-Polynesian)
Mpre (unclassified, perhaps Niger-Congo or isolated) (extinct)
Muher (Semitic)
Mukha-Dora or Nuka (unclassified)
Mundari (Austro-Asiatic)
Munji (Iranian)
Murcian (Murcian)
Muria (Dravidian)
Muromian (Finno-Ugric) (extinct)
Murut (Malayo-Polynesian)
[edit]
N


Nafaanra (Volta-Congo)
Nagarchal (Dravidian)
Nahuatl (Uto-Aztecan)
Naiki (Dravidian)
Nama (Khoisan)
Nanai (Tungusic)
Natanzi (Iranian)
Nauruan (Malayo-Polynesian)
Navajo or Navaho (Na-Dené)
Nayini or Biyabanak (Iranian)
Ndau or Southeast Shona (Bantu)
Ndebele (Bantu)
Ndonga (Bantu)
Neapolitan (Romance)
Negidal (Tungusic)
Nenets or Yurak (Samoyedic)
Nepal Bhasa or Newari (Tibeto-Burman)
Nepali (Indo-Aryan)
New Zealand Sign Language (Signing)
Nganasan or Tavgi (Samoyedic)
Ngumba (Bantu)
Nheengatu or Geral or Modern Tupí (Tupian)
Nicaraguan Sign Language (Signing)
Nicola) (Athabaskan languages) (extinct)
Niellim (Volta-Congo)
Nigerian Pidgin (pidgin, English-based)
Niuean or Niue (Malayo-Polynesian)
Nivkh or Gilyak (isolated)
Nogai (Turkic)
Norfuk or Norfolk or Pitcairn-Norfolk (cant, English-Tahitian based)
Norman or Norman-French (Romance)
Norn (Germanic) (extinct)
Northern Sami (Finno-Ugric)
Northern Sotho or Sepedi (Bantu)
Northern Straits Salish) (Salishan)
Northern Yukaghir (Yukaghir)
Norwegian (Bokmål, Nynorsk, Riksmål) (Germanic)
Nuer (Nilotic)
Nuxálk or Bella Coola (Salishan)
Nyabwa (Volta-Congo)
Nyah Kur (Austro-Asiatic)
Nyangumarta (Pama-Nyungan)
Nyoro (Bantu)
Nǀu (Khoisan)
[edit]
O


Occitan (Romance)
Ojibwe or Ojibwa or Chippewa (Algonquian)
Old Church Slavonic (Slavic) (extinct)
Old English or Anglo-Saxon (Germanic) (extinct)
Old French (Romance) (extinct)
Old French Sign Language (Signing) (extinct)
Old High German (Germanic) (extinct)
Old Norse (Germanic) (extinct)
Old Nubian language (Nilo-Saharan) (extinct)
Old Persian (Iranian) (extinct)
Old Prussian (Baltic) (extinct)
Old Saxon (Germanic) (extinct)
Old South Arabic (Semitic) (extinct)
Old Tupi or Tupinamba (Tupian) (extinct)
Olonets Karelian or Liv or Livvi (Finno-Ugric)
Omagua (Tupian)
Ongota (Afro-Asiatic)
Oriya (Indo-Aryan)
Ormuri (Iranian)
Oroch (Tungusic)
Orok (Tungusic)
Oromo or Afaan Oromoo (Cushitic)
Oropom (unclassified) (extinct)
Ossetic or Ossetian (Iranian)
Ottoman Turkish (Turkic) (extinct)
[edit]
P


Palaic (Anatolian) (extinct)
Palauan (Malayo-Polynesian)
Pali (Indo-Aryan) (extinct)
Pangasinan (Malayo-Polynesian)
Papiamento or Papiamentu (Portuguese-based creole)
Parachi (Iranian)
Parauk (Austro-Asiatic)
Parji or Duruwa (Dravidian)
Parya (Indo-Aryan)
Pashto or Pushto or Pashtu (Iranian)
Passamaquoddy or Maliseet-Passamaquoddy or Malecite-Passamaquoddy (Algonquian)
Pecheneg (Turkic) (extinct)
Pemon or Pemong (Cariban)
Pengo (Dravidian)
Pennsylvania Dutch or Pennsylvania German (Germanic)
Pentlatch or Puntlatch (Salishan) (extinct)
Persian or Farsi (Iranian)
Phalura (Indo-Aryan)
Phoenician (Semitic) (extinct)
Phrygian (Indo-European) (extinct)
Phuthi (Bantu)
Picard (Romance)
Pictish (Celtic) (extinct)
Pirahã (Mura)
Pisidian (Anatolian) (extinct)
Plautdietsch or Mennonite Low German (Germanic)
Polabian (Slavic (extinct)
Polish (Slavic)
Portuguese (Romance)
Pothohari or Pahari-Potwari (Indo-Aryan)
Potiguara (Tupian) (extinct)
Pradhan or Pardhan (Dravidian)
Proto-Indo-European (Indo-European) (extinct)
Provençal (Romance)
Puelche (isolated)
Puma (Tibeto-Burman)
Punjabi or Panjabi or Gurmukhi (Indo-Aryan)
[edit]
Q


Qashqai or Ghashghai (Turkic)
Qatabanian (Semitic) (extinct)
Quebec Sign Language (Signing)
Quechua (Quechuan)
[edit]
R


Rajasthani (Indo-Aryan)
Ratagnon or Datagnon or Latagnun (Malayo-Polynesian)
Réunion Creole or Bourbonnais (French-based creole)
Romanian (Romance)
Romansh or Rhaeto-Romance (Romance)
Romany (Indo-Iranian)
Romblomanon (Malayo-Polynesian)
Rotokas (East Papuan)
Runyankole language or Nyankore (Bantu)
Russenorsk (Russian-Norwegian pidgin) (extinct)
Russian (Slavic)
Russian Sign Language (Signing)
Ruthenian or Rusyn or Carpathian (Slavic)
[edit]
S


Sabaean (Semitic) (extinct)
Salar (Turkic)
Samaritan Hebrew (Semitic) (extinct)
Samoan (Malayo-Polynesian)
Sandawe (Khoisan)
Sangisari or Sangesari (Iranian)
Sanglechi-Ishkashimi (Iranian)
Sango (Ngbandi-based creole)
Sanskrit (Indo-Aryan) (extinct)
Santali (Austro-Asiatic)
Sara (Malayo-Polynesian)
Saramaccan (English-based creole)
Sardinian (Romance)
Sarikoli (Iranian)
Savara (Dravidian)
Savi (Indo-Aryan)
Sawai (Malayo-Polynesian)
Scots (Germanic)
Scottish Gaelic or Scots Gaelic (Celtic)
Selangor Sign Language (Signing)
Selkup or Ostyak Samoyed (Samoyedic)
Selonian (Baltic) (extinct)
Semnani (Iranian)
Senaya (Semitic)
Sened (Berber) (extinct)
Senhaja de Srair (Berber) (extinct)
Sephardi Hebrew (Semitic)
Serbian (Slavic)
Serbo-Croatian (Slavic)
Sesotho (Bantu)
Seto or Setu (Finno-Ugric)
Seychellois Creole (French-based creole)
Shahrudi (Iranian)
Shimaore (Bantu)
Shina (Indo-Aryan)
Shona (Bantu)
Shor (Turkic)
Shughni (Iranian)
Shumashti (Indo-Aryan)
Shuswap (Salishan)
Sicilian (Romance)
Sidamo (Cushitic)
Sidetic (Anatolian) (extinct)
Sika (Malayo-Polynesian)
Silesian (Slavic)
Silt'e or Selti or East Gurage (Semitic)
Sindhi (Indo-Aryan)
Sinhalese (Indo-Aryan)
Sioux (Siouan)
Siraiki or Seraiki or Southern Punjabi (Indo-Aryan)
Sivandi (Iranian)
Skolt Sami (Finno-Ugric)
Slavey (Athabaskan)
Slovak (Slavic)
Slovenian or Slovene (Slavic)
Soddo or Kistane (Semitic)
Soi (Iranian)
Somali (Cushitic)
Sonjo or Temi (Bantu)
Sonsorolese or Sonsorol (Malayo-Polynesian)
Soqotri (Semitic)
Sora (Austro-Asiatic)
Sorbian (Slavic)
Southern Sami (Finno-Ugric)
South Estonian (Finno-Ugric)
Southern Yukaghir or Tundra Yukaghir (Yukaghir)
Spanish (Romance)
Sranan Tongo (English-based creole)
St'at'imcets or Lillooet (Salishan)
Sucite or Sìcìté Sénoufo (Volta-Congo)
Suba (Bantu)
Sudovian or Yotvingian (Baltic) (extinct)
Sumerian (isolated) (extinct)
Sundanese (Malayo-Polynesian)
Supyire or Supyire Senoufo (Volta-Congo)
Surigaonon (Malayo-Polynesian)
Susu (Niger-Congo)
Svan (South Caucasian)
Swahili (Bantu)
Swati or Swazi or Siswati or Seswati (Bantu)
Swedish (Germanic)
Syriac (Semitic)
[edit]
T


Tabasaran or Tabassaran (Northeast Caucasian)
Tachelhit (Berber)
Tagalog (Malayo-Polynesian)
Tahitian (Malayo-Polynesian)
Taiwanese Sign Language (Signing)
Tajik (Iranian)
Takestani (Iranian)
Talysh (Iranian)
Tamil (Dravidian)
Tanacross (Athabaskan)
Tangut or Xixia (Tibeto-Burman) (extinct)
Tarifit or Rifi or Riff Berber (Berber)
Tat or Tati (Iranian)
Tatar (Turkic)
Tausug (Malayo-Polynesian)
Tehuelche (Chon)
Telugu (Dravidian)
Temiar or Northern Sakai (Austro-Asiatic)
Tetum (Malayo-Polynesian)
Thai (Tai-Kadai)
Tharu (Indo-Aryan)
Thracian (Indo-European) (extinct)
Tibetan (Tibeto-Burman)
Tigre or Xasa (Semitic)
Tigrinya (Semitic)
Tillamook (Salishan) (extinct)
Tirahi (Indo-Aryan)
Tiv (Volta-Congo)
Tlingit (Na-Dené)
Tobian (Malayo-Polynesian)
Tocharian A and B (Indo-European) (extinct)
Toda (Dravidian)
Tok Pisin (English-based creole)
Tokelauan (Malayo-Polynesian)
Tonga (Bantu)
Tongan (Malayo-Polynesian)
Tongva (Uto-Aztecan) (extinct)
Torwali or Turvali (Indo-Aryan)
Tregami (Indo-Aryan)
Tsat (Malayo-Polynesian)
Tsez or Dido (Northeast Caucasian)
Tshiluba or Luba-Kasai or Luba-Lulua (Bantu)
Tsimshian (Penutian)
Tsonga (Bantu)
Tswana or Setswana (Bantu)
Tu or Monguor (Mongolic)
Tuareg languages or Tamasheq (Berber)
Tulu (Dravidian)
Tumbuka (Bantu)
Tupinkin (Tupian)
Turkish (Turkic)
Turkmen (Turkic)
Turoyo (Semitic)
Tuvaluan (Malayo-Polynesian)
Tuvan Tuvin or Tyvan (Turkic)
[edit]
U

Ubykh (Northwest Caucasian) (extinct)
Udihe or Ude or Udege (Tungusic)
Udmurt or Votyak (Finno-Ugric)
Ugaritic (Semitic) (extinct)
Ukrainian (Slavic)
Ulbare (Semitic)
Ulch or Olcha (Tungusic)
Unserdeutsch or Rabaul Creole German (German-based creole)
Upper Sorbian (Slavic)
Urdu (Indic)
Uripiv (Malayo-Polynesian)
Urum (Turkic)
Ute (Uto-Aztecan)
Uyghur or Uigur (Turkic)
Uzbek (Turkic)
[edit]
V


Vafsi (Iranian)
Valencian Sign Language (Signing)
Vasi-vari or Prasuni (Indo-Aryan)
Venda or Tshivenda (Bantu)
Veps (Finno-Ugric)
Vietnamese (Austro-Asiatic)
Võro (Finno-Ugric)
Votic or Votian (Finno-Ugric)
[edit]
W

Waddar (Dravidian)
Waigali or Kalasha-Ala (Indo-Aryan)
Waima or Roro (Malayo-Polynesian)
Wakhi (Iranian)
Walloon (Romance)
Waneci (Iranian)
Wapishana or Aruma (Arawakan
Waray-Waray or Binisaya (Malayo-Polynesian)
Washo (Hokan)
Welsh (Celtic)
Western Neo-Aramaic (Semitic)
Weyto (unclassified, probably Afro-Asiatic) (extinct)
Wolane (Semitic)
Wolof (Niger-Congo)
Wotapuri-Katarqalai (Indo-Aryan
Wu (Sinitic)
[edit]


ǀXam (Khoisan) (extinct)
Xhosa (Bantu)
Xiang (Sinitic)
Xibe or Sibo (Tungusic)
ǃXóõ (Khoisan)
Xokó (unclassified) (extinct)
Xukurú (unclassified) (extinct)
[edit]
Y
Only languages with Wikipedia pages are listed here. See List of languages by name: Y for more.


Yaaku language
Yaeyama language
Yakut
Yankunytjatjara language
Yanomami
Yanyuwa language
Yapese
Yaqui language
Yauma language (Bantu)
Yavapai language
Yazdi (Iranian)
Yemenite Hebrew language (Semitic)
Yeni language
Yevanic language
Yi language
Yiddish (Germanic)
Yogur (also known as Yoghur, (Mongolic) Sarï Uyghur, and (Mongolic) Yellow Uyghur, Mongolic)
Yokutsan languages
Yonaguni language
Yorùbá language
Yucatec Maya language
Yucatec Maya Sign Language (Signing)
Yuchi language
Yugur (also known as Yughur, (Turkicic) Sarïgh Uyghur, and (Turkic) Yellow Uyghur, Turkic)
Yukaghir languages
Yupik language (Eskimo-Aleut)
Yurats language
Yurok language
[edit]


Záparo (Saparoan)
Zapotec (Oto-Manguean)
Zazaki (Iranian)
Zenzontepec (Oto-Manguean)
Zhuang
Zoque (Mixe-Zoquean)
Zulu (Niger-Congo) (Bantu)
Zuñi/Zuni
Zway (also called Zay) (Semitic)

The News According to Jim....

We here at Tribute to the Best Blog in the World feel very honored and privileged to unveil the first of a many part installment of The News According to Jim Belushi. Through intense arbitration discussions we managed to negotiate a weekly blog space for Mr. Belushi at the low cost of $24 and a box of Aunt Jemima mix, each week. Mr. Belushi will use this blog space to discuss his feelings on national affairs as well as international politics. Thanks to Mr. Belushi and his agent, Dan Akroyd for your time and patience. We hope you appreciate his messages as much as we do. Enjoy!



Hey-ya all, it's me, Jim Belushi.

No, no, I'm not that the guy who used to be married to Roseanne, that's Tom Arnold. Lucky sport. What I wouldn't do to be the stuffing to her Thanksgiving turkey. GO BEARS!

So anyways, sometime last month or maybe it was today, I'm not too sure, I was watching the game, Cubbies!!! Next year we're gonna do it, we'll do it right, ALLL THE WAY!!!!! I was watching the game and then I saw some headline about that pretty little girl, JonBenet Ramsey case and I wanted to talk about some things things that were on my mind.

Honey! I need another cold one! Miller-Lite? Bottles? No, no, do we have it in cans? The light blue ones, yeah those ones, Miller-Lite. Yeah can you put one in the Blackhawks koozy for me? Thanks babes.

Sorry, yeah JonBenet Ramsey, wow that's sad man. Seeing this case everywhere reminds me of 2003, when the Chicago Cubs were up 3-0 in the NLCS to the Florida Marlins, and then in a miraculous and disappointing turn-around lost the series 4-3 in a deciding Game 7 AT Wrigley Field! We had the home field advantage man, with Wood on the mound. How do you blow that? I dont care about this Steve Bartman business, we blew it at Wrigley man.

Shit. (Burbs). Honey you find it ok? You need help? Oh ok great, the Blackhawks koozy, it doesnt matter, just bring one out here and some Fritos if we have any?...No, ok pretzels are fine.

But I hope they find this girl's killer, it's only right. We can't live in a world where people can get off...HONEY CAN I JUST HAVE A FUCKING BEER PLEASE?! I dont care if it's not open! Just bring it here!

We can't live in a place where people can do as they please. Anarchy man. It ain't right. Just like it isn't right for any professional Chicago sports team with a "C" tattooed to their uniform, to blow a three game lead in a pennant series at Wrigley Field.

Oh, the hell with it, I need a drink. HONEY!!!!!! Where's my cocksucking beer!?... See you next week.

Vonnegutism

All right crew, I think this blog should have a strict, NEVER BE SERIOUS policy but i was looking through vonnegut quotes today, and every day I find a new one that makes me want to celebrate every national holiday simultaneously, they're that great. So put on your Leprachaun suit, your Casmir Polaski hat, and Native American headdress, and let's celebrate this incredible SOB. I want to try and do one Vonnegut quote a day, that will last for, well...at least today. Here's one from God Bless You Mr Rosewater, the main character is addressing a group of science fiction writers.

"I love you sons of bitches. You’re all I read any more. You're the only ones who’ll talk all about the really terrific changes going on, the only ones crazy enough to know that life is a space voyage, and not a short one, either, but one that’ll last for billions of years. You’re the only ones with guts enough to really care about the future, who really notice what machines do to us, what wars do to us, what cities do to us, what big, simple ideas do to us, what tremendous misunderstanding, mistakes, accidents, catastrophes do to us. You're the only ones zany enough to agonize over time and distance without limit, over mysteries that will never die, over the fact that we are right now determining whether the space voyage for the next billion years or so is going to be Heaven or Hell."

Law And Order

Lets have an honest discussion, heart-to-heart. Im going to tell you some things, you can share some insights or just sit there and listen, much like a deaf person, except they wouldn’t be listening and you'd have to use sign language. But in a lot of ways, computers are our generation's own version of sign-language, sign-language with pictures, sometimes inappropriate pictures, of animals and humans performing unthinkable acts...so lets talk.

OK. Have you ever lit a firecracker, neatly placed it in your hand then watched it explode? No, of course not, why would you do that? So like three minutes ago I neatly placed a firework in my hand and then watched it explode.

The train of blood running down my hand from the explosion was enough to scare away half of the senior citizens in the retirement home I'm living. The other half is catatonic, so those people are just fun props. They don’t count.

I'm speaking in the metaphoric about the previous firework explosion I mentioned. I didn’t really do that, and I’m glad I didn’t. I’m not sadistic just occasionally masochistic. But aren’t we all, some more than others. I’m thinking specifically of people in JACKASS, those fucking crazies that run around stapling their genitals together. That's sadistic, and well, funny.

Those jokers are at one end of the spectrum. The other end is the people who inflict pain on others. The Tasmanian devils who treat the world as it's dusty, tumbleweed highway. They go from highway to highway destroying with impunity any obstacle that may slow them down in their desired path. They throw caution to the wind, pee on your furniture and don’t even bother to flush the toilet...bastards.

Welcome to Niketown USA. Survival of the fittest, and may the best man win. Irish need not apply. Hehehe, Irish being a euphemism for any person with minority status and or a bad haircut and three nipples. Fuck that.

From now on, I’m planting several flags of injunction. Don’t be hard on yourself my friends, it aint right. And dont let the Tasmania devils in your life dictate policy, they are for the birds. I’m commanding each and every one of you (that means probably just PAT) to go out and shake someone’s hand on the street; they are your brother or your sister. Extend the gesture, even if it's Whoopi Goldberg. Be brave.

I have to go Mrs. Quiggly in 4D just peed on my end table. I'm going to go set her straight by hitting her upside the head with a ping-pong paddle.

Take care all. Go IRISH!