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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Winkler Exposed: Guy Behind The Guy

Winkler Exposed: Guy Behind The Guy
by Bono Isaprick
The Cleveland Steamer Times

Rip Winkler sits alone in the corner of a dimly lit green room with a glass of Johnnie Walker Black. “I don’t drink vodka cause I hate Russians. The Cold War was a bitch. I haven’t driven a car since 911 because I support the troops and refuse to fund terrorism.”

At one time Winkler was clearly on shoulders of giants. He rose to popularity on the set of the popular 1980’s Canadian sitcom, “Grade Nine.” Winkler played a wacky high school chemistry teacher who was always getting in trouble for his unorthodox teaching style. He was kicked off the show after 3 seasons for his debilitating cocaine addiction.

"I remember the days I was down. The days where 5 wanna-be actors would stand around a coffee table and blow lines. I hadn’t worked in months. The worst feeling is having to lay down a puppy dog face in hopes someone will let you bump. I went through 15 years battling addiction and won. I tried my hand at stand-up in the late nineties. I was re-discovered by Seymour Sprinklers (President of Eastern Iowa Public Television Networks) at the ‘Giggle Factory’ in Vancouver. He asked me to host a prime-time public television show called ‘Prose Before Ho’s,’ I’ve been doing it for 10 years now. If I were to give the kids some advice, it would be to always carry business cards on quality printed paper. It’s all about networking."

Five minutes till’ showtime. Winkler is yelling at a young, beautiful blonde contestant, a sociology major from the University of Iowa. “Sweetheart! Sweetheart! Mindy, Mindy, Is her name Mindy? I mean Cindy. You were great! Well, not the best lay of the year. I’ll call my photographer friend I told you about last night. He’ll lay down some great shots of you, real classy ones. You’ll be a star.” Winkler tosses me his trademark wink. What a fucking cliché.


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