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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Singer-Songwriter Scum!

The other day I was shuffling through my IPod and was amazed at the number of crappy twenty-something singer-songwriters that I have downloaded over the past three years. I began thinking how the music industry let these sperms through and penetrate the diseased egg we call popular music.

I began to think about junior high school, the year 1998. This was the year that every little douche bag and his younger brother decided to pick up an acoustic guitar. (I'd include myself in this group of people but I picked up my first six-string back in 97'.) The result wasn't a string of Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds-esque bands. Instead 85% of my 8th grade class could play the chorus of Sister Hazel's "All For You."

It was impossible to start a band. -

"Can you play drums?"
"Can you play Bass?"
"I can play acoustic and electric guitar and the skin flute"
"Sorry buddy we already have 4 guitarists in our band"

Music will continue to suffer through the James Blunts, Ryan Cabreras, and Hanson Brothers until 16 year old girls everywhere begin to think that a dude who picks up a guitar at a party is gay.


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