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Tuesday, December 05, 2006


The start of a sketch I'm writing...

Rip Winkler (Host): Hi! I'm Rip Winkler, I'd like to welcome you to "Prose Before Ho's" the only game show that combines free flowing speech in the American language and beautiful women with questionable ethics. First let's go over the game. We start the game with one contestant. He will be asked a series of questions involving prose. The questions are read by five lovely drunk ho's that we found at the Union Bar VIP room in Iowa City, IA. If the contestant answers incorrectly the ho that read the question will be sent home. By the end of the five questions the contestant will take home up to five ho's or go "home alone" like a Mr. Macaulay Carson Culkin in a movie with the same name. Ouch! Audience let's play PROS....

Audience: "PROSE BEFORE HO'S" (in unison) *clapping*

Rip Winkler (Host): Let's meet our first contestant, a gym teacher from Walnut Junior High School in Grand Island, NB.- Mr. Walken. *clapping* Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Mr. Walken: There isn't much to say. I love NASCAR, hunting, Ford Trucks, and Girls Volleyball. I used to coach Varsity Girls Volleyball but we had a little situation and I'm on suspension. I've been on lunch supervision for the past 3 months. I didn't touch ....

Rip Winkler (Host): Alright Walken I'll need to cut you off there, Let's Play! Here's comes your first question. Read by Ho, Cindy Olsen. Cindy is a Sociology major who enjoys singing Bon Jovi songs at bar close, Jack Daniels, wearing tube tops in the dead of winter, after hours, and Desperate Housewives. Let's have it Cindy!

Cindy: In what Shakespearean play did Porter say, "Faith sir, we were carousing till the second cock: and drink, sir, is a great provoker of three things."? *giggling*

Rip Winkler (Host) : What's so funny Cindy?

Cindy: I said (beep).

Rip Winkler (Host): From what I hear from the producers you are a huge fan of drinking and sucking (beep). Mr. Walken we need answer.

Mr. Walken: I don't know anything about Shakespeare, for the love of God I'm a gym teacher! The only play I've ever heard of was Fiddler on the Roof. Only because I own a pornographic film of a similar name.

Rip Winkler (Host): Incorrect! The answer is MacBeth. Say goodbye to Cindy! We need to pause for a commercial break, we'll be back in a few for more Pros....

Audience: "PROSE BEFORE HO'S" (in unison) *clapping*


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